Relationship First
Students do not care how much you know until they know how much you care. For students with behavior histories, this is especially true - they have often experienced adults who only see their problems.
The Fresh Start Paradox
You need to read the behavior file to understand the student's needs. But you also need to meet them without preconceptions. How do you do both?
Read for Strategy
- What interventions have worked?
- What are the identified functions?
- What environmental supports help?
- What does the student respond to?
Do Not Read for Judgment
- Avoid forming opinions about character
- Do not expect the same behaviors
- Do not share war stories with colleagues
- Do not let the file define the student
First Week Rapport Strategies
Learn Their World
Find out what they care about - games, sports, music, animals. Use this knowledge for genuine conversation, not manipulation.
2x10 Strategy
Spend 2 minutes per day for 10 days having personal conversation unrelated to academics or behavior. This builds connection rapidly.
Catch Them Being Good
Actively look for positive behaviors to acknowledge. Students with behavior histories often only get adult attention for problems.
Greet by Name
Every day, greet the student by name at the door. This small gesture communicates that they matter and belong.
When Behavior Happens
Challenging behavior will occur. How you respond affects the relationship:
Relationship-Preserving Responses
- Separate behavior from identity: "That was a poor choice" not "You are a problem"
- Stay calm: Your regulation helps them regulate
- Repair after: Reconnect once everyone is calm
- Start fresh: Each day is a new day
Relationship Is the Intervention
For many students with behavior challenges, the relationship with a caring adult IS the intervention. Token economies and behavior plans matter, but they work best when built on a foundation of genuine connection and trust.
References
Blue-Banning, M., Summers, J. A., Frankland, H. C., Lord Nelson, L., & Beegle, G. (2004). Dimensions of family and professional partnerships: Constructive guidelines for collaboration. Exceptional Children, 70(2), 167–184. https://doi.org/10.1177/001440290407000203
Sheridan, S. M., Smith, T. E., Kim, E. M., Beretvas, S. N., & Park, S. (2019). A meta-analysis of family-school interventions and children’s social-emotional functioning: Moderators and components of efficacy. Review of Educational Research, 89(2), 296–332. https://doi.org/10.3102/0034654318825437
Lei, H., Cui, Y., & Chiu, M. M. (2016). Affective teacher-student relationships and students’ externalizing behavior problems: A meta-analysis. Frontiers in Psychology, 7, 1311. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2016.01311
U.S. Department of Education. (2021). FERPA general guidance for parents and eligible students. https://studentprivacy.ed.gov/
Simonsen, B., Fairbanks, S., Briesch, A., Myers, D., & Sugai, G. (2008). Evidence-based practices in classroom management: Considerations for research to practice. Education and Treatment of Children, 31(3), 351–380. https://doi.org/10.1353/etc.0.0007
Stormont, M., Reinke, W. M., Newcomer, L., Marchese, D., & Lewis, C. (2015). Coaching teachers’ use of social behavior interventions to improve children’s outcomes: A review of the literature. Journal of Positive Behavior Interventions, 17(2), 69–82. https://doi.org/10.1177/1098300714550657
Carr, E. G., Dunlap, G., Horner, R. H., Koegel, R. L., Turnbull, A. P., Sailor, W., Anderson, J. L., Albin, R. W., Koegel, L. K., & Fox, L. (2002). Positive behavior support: Evolution of an applied science. Journal of Positive Behavior Interventions, 4(1), 4–16. https://doi.org/10.1177/109830070200400102
Sugai, G., & Horner, R. H. (2020). Sustaining and scaling positive behavioral interventions and supports: Implementation drivers, outcomes, and considerations. Exceptional Children, 86(2), 120–136. https://doi.org/10.1177/0014402919855331
Take Action
Put what you've learned into practice with these resources.
Key Takeaways
- Read the file, but meet the student fresh - avoid letting history create bias
- Find genuine points of connection unrelated to behavior
- 2:1 ratio minimum - two positive interactions for every correction
- Consistency builds trust more than grand gestures
- Repair ruptures quickly - relationship recovery matters
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About the Author
The Classroom Pulse Team consists of former Special Education Teachers and BCBAs who are passionate about leveraging technology to reduce teacher burnout and improve student outcomes.
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